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The Cross Report July 2nd

Posted in In My Head by Jack at 18:59, Jul 02 2006

Bt Gareth Cross

By gawd folks what a wild week it?s been in the WWE. The fact of the matter is, it has not been a wild week in the WWE, things have been just moving along as always. Let?s kick things off with Vengeance.
The show kicked off with Angle-Orton, which at one stage would have been a main event match in the E, but has been more or less an opener on the last two ppvs? Orton got revenge this time getting the win after a quite good match, but not as good as their match at ONS, with the rko. Having Orton win is probably the best thing for all concerned. Even though I hate the guy, Kurt is gonna be taking some much needed time off and Orton still has to draw in the fans. I?m glad to Angle is taking some time off as everyone knows his health has not been great as of late.
Was there no other way for Vince to get heat rather than pushing a kid in a wheelchair into stuff? It was an ok segment but they could have been much more creative. Next was the horrible, Eugene with Doink, Kamala and ?Hacksaw? Jim Duggan v Umaga with Armandoooooooo Alejandroooooo Essssssssttttttttraaaaaddddddddda! Iv?e been trying to work that in for awhile. As much as I hate Umaga that guy is great and hopefully he will lead a new generation of managers in the WWE. In wrestling managers are a lost art but I believe that many workers in the WWE today could benefit from a Jim Cornette or Bobby Hennan or Jimmy Hart, perhaps someone like Chris Masters. The match itself was terrible and Umaga got the win. Afterwards he had a confrontation with Kamala leading to their match on Raw.
Next up was Ric Flair taking on Mick Foley. This was by no means a classic, but it was a nice little match from two people who have legitimate heat for each other. Flair got the win by DQ when Foley hit him with a trash can and battered and bruised him after the match, im guessing this is leading to a rematch at SummerSlam.
Johnny Nitro got the IC title in what was a very good match with Carlito and Shelton. I think it?s a good decision to put the belt on Nitro as the other two have been IC champions before, and this gets Nitro over as a Singles star and adds something fresh to the IC division.
RVD took on Edge next in a mid card match for the WWE Championship? RVD got the win in a good match to keep his three-way feud with Cena and Edge going, and it looks like the three will continue feuding into the summer. Kane took on his fake counterpart in a terrible bout. The fake Kane got the win via chokeslam in a match nobody really cared about.
Cena beat Sabu via submission in an entertaining bout next. These two seem to have a weird sort of chemistry and they had a good little match. Some people have argued it hurt Sabu to lose clean rather than by KO or sick bump and maybe they are right, but at the end of the day Cena is a 2 time WWE champion, and I doubt the WWE would sacrifice him to make a ECW wrestler look good.
The main event was a good comedy match as D-X took on the Spirit F?n Squad. Theres a lot of hate out there for the spirit squad, but to quote one of wrestling?s greats ?Whether you like it, or whether you don?t like, learn to love it, because it?s the best thing going today The Spirit Squad!? Maybe I added the bit about the spirit squad in, but what the hell sue me. Vince then came out and told D-X he would be seeing them tomorrow night. Overall it was a pretty good Pay Per View and definitely deserves a B rating.

Well on to Raw, where the WWE title was on the line and the McMahon?s were taking on D-X, or so we thought. The show started with a decent women?s title bout as Mickie James beat Trish clean to retain her belt. Why this wasn?t saved for PPV, I don?t know. Afterwards the new IC Champ Johnny Nitro and Melina made their way to ringside complete with paparazzi. Melina told Trish that she was then number one diva on Raw and said that they had a ?passing of the torch moment.? Trish tried to attack Melina but, Nitro held her back and as they started to double team Trish, Carlito made the save and protested about the terrible injustice, which happened the night before.
Trish thanked Carlito backstage, he mumbled some stuff about Nitro, Trish looked at his shirt which bared the slogan ?Do you spit, or swallow? Trish whispered something in Carlito?s ear and Carlito replied ?Now that?s cool.? It was a pretty funny segment.
Still backstage the McMahon?s were telling the Spirit Squad about how they were going to show them how to get things done against D-X.
After the break Umaga took on Kamala *slap?s chest. * It was basically a squash match in which Umaga destroyed Kamala and his weird manager. Personally I would take Kamala over Umaga any day.
Torrie and Todd unveiled her new cover for some stupid WWE magazine. Edge came down talked trash on RVD and Cena, destroyed the cover and said he was leaving, he stopped on the way out to get some of his own T-shirts, geez sales must be pretty bad for the ?Rated R Superstar? Right now.
Next up was a pretty bland interview with John Cena, the only thing that made it watchable was Maria who was conducting the interview and she looked smoking hot. Maybe the WWE should just let Cena go back to rapping?
Viscera and Val took on Brokeback Mountain in a nothing match. The whole match was centred around Charlie Haas coming down to ringside, kissing Lillian and costing Val and Vis the match. Haas looks really different than I remember him. When he came down I was like who the hell is that.
Next up as my favourite Raw segment in a long time. Mr. McMahon?s music hit and HHH made his way to the ring dressed like his father in law, shoulder pads and all. He talked about how Vince loved Dick Chaney, Dick Clark and others. He said that he just plain loved Dick?s. HBK then came out dressed as Shane and started skipping around like an idiot. He got on the mike and said that he was the product of Vince?s semen and that it said it on his business card. He then said he hoped he?d die soon as he would inherit the WWE. HHH said no, that Vince was leaving all his money to Steph and the guy with the big bazooka that knocked her up, this had me in stitches. Footage of Vince from the 1985 slammy awards then played. Hogan, Jake Roberts and Brutus Beefcake were all in the video and it was hilarious. Vince and Shane and the squad then came out and told D-X that the crap had to stop. Lot?s of manure/poo/shit/crap was then dropped on the squad and the McMahon?s from the heavens. The sat in it for like 5 minutes then D-X said ?Holy Shit.? HHH said it was holy on account of Shawn that really cracked me up and rounded up a great segment.
We then had an interview with the Nature Boy. He said everything he wrote about Foley was true and that he had taken the coward?s way out. He said he would be healed soon and after Foley, it really wasn?t a good interview by Flair?s standards at all.
Randy Orton beat Kane in the next match. Impostor Kane came down to ringside and cost Kane the match. Kane chokeslammed him in the ring. Then on the ramp and dragged him backstage. Kane took the mask back and threw the guy through the doors and stood looking at the mask.
It was then main event time and RVD took on Cena in a good match. Cena looked as though he had it won when he hit the FU and locked in the STFU. Suddenly Edge came out of nowhere and hit Cena just as RVD was about to tap out leading to a DQ. Damn Edge, if he hadn?t of done that Cena would be champ. This set up a triple threat match at SNME. This was an ok show, the D-X stuff was easily the best part of the show, ill? give it a B, D-X saved it from a B- at best.

So, am Smackdown, I didn?t watch it because all in all it isn?t a very good show, but I?ll give you my opinion on what went down.
Super Crazy beat Helms by DQ in the first match. Psicosis interfered, looks as if they are definitely heading towards a feud between those two. The Pittbulls squashed two unknowns. Looks as though they are getting a tag title shot at GAB. These two work well together and in my opinion would make better champs than London and Kendrick. Matt (ha ha you should have went to TNA, your paying for it now bitch) Hardy took on Finlay next. I love Finlay and was glad to see he got the win. Kennedy squashed Gunner Scott. Back to development with you son. Vito beat Simon Dean, im guessing that was utter crap. Lashley retained the US title in a cage against Booker in what im guessing was a fun match. Hopefully Booker will win the WHC v Mysterio at the bash.

Well that?s it?s for this week folks have a good week and until next time, I?m Gareth Cross and that was The Cross Report.

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