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Captain's Quarters June 17th

Posted in In My Head by Jack at 20:09, Jun 17 2006

Aaaaaaaaaand another week at the Quarters with the Cap'n. This was a pretty big week for WWE with One Night Stand finally arriving along with the return of the ECW brand as a whole. This was also the first of only two weeks for RAW to begin build-up for Vengeance (which they did quite well) and the week that SmackDown... well, did nothing. So, okay, not such a big week for SmackDown. But, in every other respect, yes, big week. So let's get on it.

(Note: I usually try to do PPV reviews on a point system, but it probably wouldn't be fair in this case, so I'll just run through it.)

ECW One Night Stand. WOW. That's all I can say. I wasn't a fan of last year's show as I've pointed out may times, but this years show completely blew me away. I loved every second of it. Okay, I might be getting a bit too excited. The Balls Mahoney/Masato Tanaka match wasn't so great, but I think it's got me on the Balls bandwagon (no remarks needed). I also had a difficult time staying awake through the cruiserweight tag team match. Not that those guys aren't great at what they do, it's just not really my territory. It was nice to see Big Show is using his new Wreckless Intent theme, though. Also, Tazz beating Jerry Lawler made me want to throw up. I couldn't hate Tazz more. JBL will make an awesome replacement on SmackDown.

To review the matches that I can actually review, now.

Kurt Angle versus Randy Orton was an A-class match. They proved you don't need weapons and blood to have a great match. Angle is going to be one hell of an asset to ECW. Randy Orton is back and better than ever if I do say so myself, and I love the fact that he's back on RAW. Randy sure knows how to get the heat, and he was feeding off of the ECW crowd. I must say the ECW crowd chants have always annoyed me. "Let's try to fit as many syllables as possible into a three-beat chant! GO!"

Rey Mysterio defending his World Title against Sabu was pretty great for the time it went on. There were some great spots from both men and I was really into it when it had to be ended after that amazing DDT through the table. If the men were legitimately unable to go one, then I give them my props and I'll say the match was everything that could be expected from them. I just sincerely hope this wasn't the way it was planned, because if so, someone should be fired for ending a great match so soon.

Edge, Lita & Foley VS Dreamer, Beulah & Funk was AMAZING. To me, it was just as good as, if not better than, Edge and Foley's WrestleMania 22 hardcore match (which, by the way, I dubbed one of my favorite WrestleMania matches, if not FAVORITE WrestleMania match, of all time). Tons of great spots by everyone involved. All the barbed wire had me cringing constantly. And Foley was set on FIRE. JEEZ, Funk. Careful. I loved the finish. It was smart of them to have Edge pin Beulah, because I'm not sure those fans would have been cool with him pinning anyone else. Props to everyone here, and I'll never forget this match.

I found the Eugene/Sandman stuff pretty useless, even if just to get Sandman on the show. Steve Austin's better.

Rob Van Dam challenges John Cena for the WWE Championship in the main event. This match was everything I hoped it would be. John Cena really took it to RVD, and RVD took it to Cena. The crowd reaction to Cena was, oddly, enough to get me completely behind him. No one deserves that kind of reaction - not even John Cena. That kind of heat was given simply because it's hip to hate the guy on top. Cena has grown on me quite a bit in the past month. He's not a bad wrestler, he just has a unique style. His live microphone skills still bother me really badly, but one session on WWE.com watching Five Questions With The Champ is enough to sell me again. But, I'm getting off track. The ending was questionable, with Edge running in to spear Cena through a table so RVD could pick up the win, but I'm not going to complain. A WWE guy was the star of the ECW pay-per-view. Take that. RVD is now the WWE Champion, and while he deserves his reign for all the hard work he's put in, I sincerely hope it doesn't last any longer than through Vengeance. I'm not sure I can be entertained by him any longer as the Champion.

This was an overall really good show. It far surpassed last year's One Night Stand as I mentioned earlier. Let's see how the new ECW television show works out.

RAW kicks off with Paul Heyman extending an offer for Edge to join them this week on ECW's first show on the SciFi network, and we're off to a good start. The opening match was Kane VS the returning Randy Orton. It didn't last long before both men fought up the ramp to a count-out finish. Randy took a nice bump going for the RKO and missing on the stage. This is where the old Kane theme music hits and out comes the Kane of WWE past, who proceeds to knock Kane off the stage.

Charlie Haas enters the ring to offer a public apology to Lilian Garcia for inadvertently knocking her off the ring apron last week on RAW. I found it very nice and was looking forward to the handshake I hoped would take place, until Viscera came out in defense of his gal. The World Largest Love Machine said he didn't forgive Charlie, then followed up with a massive ass-whipping. Perhpas this could get interesting. Viscera a controlling ex-boyfriend? Who knew?

Vince McMahon gives his State of WWE Address next. He really doesn't say much about the WWE Championship status, so I'm guessing it's as is. He says that tonight Triple H will pay, and he will be "reunited with Shawn Michaels" on the Highway to Hell.

Torrie Wilson and Candice Michelle made water balloons entertaining this week in the first ever Wet n' Wild match. I've got to say, I really enjoyed this match. In more ways than one? Perhaps. Above everything, I think Torrie actually seemed to be enjoying herself out there, and that's always good to see. JR's and King's commentary made the match.

Next was a gauntlet match with no referee as Triple H took on each member of the Spirit Squad. We all had heard the rumors, we knew it was going to happen tonight. And it did. HBK makes the run-in to save The Game, thus reuniting D-Generation X. I don't care what you say or who you are - this was the greatest thing to happen in an extremely long time on RAW. Wrestling cynics, don't try to argue with me on this because I won't listen. I'm serious, I'll completely ignore you. D-Generation X owns all of us, and I got some serious goosebumps, thanks in no small part to Jim Ross' RAWsome? commentary. The reunion could have only gone better if it had taken place in the main event, because I was sold on this edition of RAW after this segment. I could have gone to bed happy. But no, there's much more to come.

We learn that the Spirit Squad will face the newly reformed DX at Vengeance. I'm begging the World Tag Team Championship to be on the line.

Umaga squashes "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan. Maybe this guy isn't so bad. ...Umaga, not Duggan.

We're then treated to yet ANOTHER awesome Mick Foley promo. Man, if Foley was around permanently, I could rest and never have to worry about whether or not RAW was going to kick ass this week. We see some incredible exchanges of words between Foley and his (former?) real-life rival, Ric Flair. It's announce that Foley and Flair will face off at Vengeance in a two out of three falls match. WOW. Show stealer. I don't care how old these two now. Show. Stealer. CHARLOTTE, BY-GOD NORTH CAROLINA.

Johnny Nitro VS Carlito VS Shelton Benjamin for the Intercontinental Championship at Vengeance? Oh my god. Vengeance is going to be one of the best shows of the year.

Mickie James can cut a promo with the best, and I mean best of the best, not just best of the Divas. Randy Orton pops out of nowhere and challenges Kurt Angle to a rematch at Vengeance, and as I just said, Vengeance is going to rule.

In the main event, John Cena takes on Edge and EXTREMELY CRAPPY WRESTLING had to go and get involved because they can't leave well enough alone. The match ends in a no contest and John Cena lays out the ECW guys (Thank you, God). Cena goes on to cut a lame promo, but I'll be damned if I won't mark out for him in his wo' with ECW.

I'm not going to say a lot about the ECW premiere on SciFi. Why? Because I cannot defend it. It really was an aweful debut, and I put about 90% of the blame on the blonde who can't even strip correctly. We know who you are, Barbie. We also know you don't watch wrestling, so we don't like you. The only thing really worth going into (besides from the awesome Zombie) is the main event hardcore battle royal. It wasn't spectacular and it certainly wasn't main event stuff, but I was entertained. Sabu wins, which means he goes on to face John Cena at Vengeance. And that card is filling up FAST. I suppose I should also note that Edge severed all ties with ECW when he speared RVD at the opening of the Show, and Cena laid out Heyman with a haymaker. Cena and Edge fled the scene (despite also fighting one another), giving ECW a taste of their own medicine. We learn that Paul Heyman now has plans to bring ECW to RAW this coming Monday, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't upset. I really hope RAW and ECW go their seperate ways after Vengeance and that ECW focuses on just being a good TV show. I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt and say that I think it will get far better. But, until it does, I don't think I'll be reviewing the show.

I'm going to put even less effor into reviewing SmackDown. SmackDown has been beyond disappointing for many months, and this week I simply gave up and read the spoilers. Upon doing so, I made the decision to not watch the show and to go see Nacho Libre instead. The movie was pretty funny if you like random, senseless humor. And I do. As for SmackDown... I got home in time to catch the final 45 minutes of it. So, 15 minutes later I decided "What the hell?" and turned on the television to catch the last half hour. It was hard to pay attention, but the Ashley/Michelle segment was interesting. It's good to see Ashley back and the show definitely needed her. But that's the only positive thing I can say (besides how AWESOME JBL's commentary is), as I zoned out during the main event so badly that I don't remember when the show actually went off.

That'll be all. Have fun, stay FAB.

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