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Captain's Quarters June 2nd

Posted in In My Head by Jack at 03:15, Jun 03 2006

Before I go on to review RAW and SmackDown this week, I want to make my opinion on One Night Stand and the new ECW TV show clear. I hear a lot of opinions saying that WWE guys shouldn't be involved, that they're doing it all wrong this year. Well, if that's the case, how come I am loving every minute of it? I've always been very anti-ECW. Last year, One Night Stand made me gag. This year, they've made a new fan in me. I couldn't be more amped for the PPV and the new show. They've managed to emotionally attach me to the product by involving a few WWE guys, and I officially can't wait for it all to get kicked off.

We open RAW with a nice Vince McMahon promo. I never get tired of those. This one was just a bit disappointing, however, because we were once again left hanging with the General Manager deal. They've advertised this big announcement all weekend and then Vince just shrugged it off tonight. I was quite upset, but I like that the Coach... err, Jonathan Coachman is in charge now. I think. It'll take a little time to know for sure because I don't favor changing the Coach's character. He is now the Executive Assistant. I'm going to hope it's temporary because my hope is that some day, Coach and Todd Grisham will replace Tazz and Michael Cole at the broadcast booth on SmackDown!.

It looked as though Kane was going to win the Intercontinental Championship from Shelton Benjamin this week until the Kane of Christmas Past made a shocking appearance and Chokeslammed the actual Kane. I think I know why Kane went bald now. His old hair was obviously sensitive to the heat of his fire because the old Kane had HUGE hair. This was all very awkward and I wasn't sure what to make of it, but I'm going to use my imagination like everyone else should when watching professional wrestling and say I like it.

Beth Phoenix made her in-ring WWE debut this week, and though the match was quick, from what I could tell, she can go. I can't wait to see her in a straight-up one-on-one match with someone like Mickie or Victoria. The match this week was a tag team match that saw Beth and Torrie Wilson with Trish in their corner defeat Candice Michelle and Victoria with Mickie James in their corner. I really like Beth's finishing move, whatever it may be called. But we still don't know the story between her and Mickie.

Hallelujah, I say. Johnny Nitro made his "RAW debut" this week as Jim Ross put it, even though RAW is where Johnny got his start. Not to mention MNM competed on the Eddie Guerrero tribute edition of RAW. Now he's returned and he had the lovely Melina at his side. I think I'll really like him as a singles star, and I hope Melina gets a fair chance to shine in the women's division. John Cena picked up the win over Nitro as my pal Jerry Lawler was serving Rob Van Dam about how much ECW sucks. RVD and Cena had a little run-in afterward. I'm really not sure who's got this One Night Stand match.

Paul Heyman has drafted Kurt freaking Angle. And I'm officially looking forward to the new ECW. There might just be a chance for them to win me over after all.

My favorite couple in WWE history strikes again. Edge and Lita managed to keep Big Show down for the three count and now Edge is going to Vengeance to face the WWE Champion, whoever it may be at the time. The ad poster for Vengeance with the D-X spray-painted logo makes me think Cena will somehow walk out of One Night Stand with the WWE Championship, since the poster for Vengeance has Edge and Cena face-to-face. I'm not sure how they'd manage to get John Cena out of the Hammerstein Ballroom alive after beating RVD on ECW turf, so perhaps the match won't even have an ending. Maybe it will just end in chaos like last year. I don't care, I just want Edge to have a fair reign with the Championship.

I love the Spirit Squad, although I'm not sure how much this match belonged in the main event. Despite where it was located on the show, the segment was awesome. Triple H won the Spirit-Jack match, and for the second week in a row, I've had the top scorer from RAW in my WWE Fantasy. Triple H got jumped afterward but he managed to fight the Squad off with his trusty sledge hammer. Vince McMahon came out and announced that next week, Triple H will be joining the Mr. McMahon Kiss My Ass club. Now, many are going to say the Kiss My Ass Club bit is overdone. But at you people, I spit. I hate wrestling pessimists.

SmackDown started off with a great all-around feel this week. Maybe The Miz is just really good at his job, but for some reason I was more pumped at the begining of the show than I've been for SmackDown in probably years. We start off with Kurt Angle's farewell SmackDown match against the World Heavyweight Champion Rey Mysterio. This match blew me away. Amazing. Match of the year candidate. For a split second, I was disappointed that the match ended in a count-out. But I quickly realized that this was just an all-out wrestling match, and not all matches have to end in pinfall or submission. I think the ending was fitting. It kept both men over going into One Night Stand, and it was a fantastic farewell match with an oldschool ending. Kudos to both men.

We got a small promo from Bobby Lashley. Man, he really needs a manager. Or something. Anything to save him from ruining anything positive I might feel for him with his poor speaking abilities.

We saw Vito in a dress. And much like the last 500 times WWE tried this, it wasn't funny.

The Great Khali destroyed Rowdy Roddy Piper in Piper's Pit. The Undertaker was originally scheduled for the Pit, and I was excited about it. But they must have decided it would be better for Taker's image if he just didn't show up at all.

The Divas portion of SmackDown is looking way better. We've now got Ashley and Michelle McCool (with a newly updated character and Torrie Wilson's pre-Wreckless Intent theme song), and I think this is the way the Divas should be on the blue show. Once Divas are actual wrestlers, they should be taken to RAW, but as long as they're mostly pretty faces with attitude, SmackDown is the place to be. Don't get me wrong, though. There are still a few kinks. Jillian is definitely good enough in the ring to be on RAW, so I think we should trade her for someone like Candice Michelle. And don't think I don't like Ashley, because I do. I love her, actually. But she's still learning how to handle herself in the ring, so I think she's where she needs to be.

Mark Henry destroyed Paul Birchill this week. I'm actually quite glad he won, because I had him on my Fantasy roster. Match win points, plus two sets of finisher points. SCORE. Despite this, I really like Paul Burchill and his pirate gimmick, so I hope this doesn't mean he's going to have a long absesnce. I'm trying to convince myself that Mark Henry's push isn't a bad thing. He HAS worked hard for a very long time. I just don't think I'm prepared to handle a World Heavyweight Championship reign by the big man.

King Booker sure has one long-ass entrance this week. I don't mind the music, let's just hope it's all shortened down by next week. Bobby Lashley, as I've said, is growing on me, but I'm not sure the main event was the place for this segment to be. Nevertheless, it was nice. Making Lashley kiss King Booker's feet was priceless. I really like William Regal serving Booker, too. And what can I say about Finlay? His midgetchaun is freaking awesome.

Overall, one of the best editions of SmackDown in recent memory. Despite not having many big stars now, they've managed to build on the smaller stars they already have, and they did it very well. Pretty solid show.

In retrospect, this was a pretty solid week of WWE television building up to ECW One Night Stand, as odd as that sounds. I'm really hyped for the pay-per-view, and just for the record, I know Tazz will defeat Jerry Lawler at One Night Stand, but in my book, King is infinitely better than Tazz, anyday.

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