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The Captain's Quarters May 27th

Posted in In My Head by Jack at 01:33, May 28 2006

Welcome to another week of Fabulousnessocity. This week I'll review WWE Judgment Day along with the usual RAW and SmackDown! reviews. Also, I'll give my probably controversial thoughts on ECW, and might I say, from what I heard on this week's edition of the IYH show, the hosts are going to highly disagree with me. Bring it on, boys. My people can be very bitter.

First match of the night was MNM versus Paul London and Brian Kendrick for the WWE Tag Team Championship. This was an amazing tag team match, especially given what the tag team division has been for the past few years. Melina jumping in to scream in the referee's face to stop him from counting Mercury down was the greatest thing I've seen in such a long time. MNM engaged in a huge fight afterward. It wasn't expected, which is good. We need more of that. But I wasn't sure what to think. Now that I know more about the situation, I'm cool with it. I would love to have Melina on RAW to compete for the Women's Championship. Kendrick and London won their first well-deserved WWE Tag Team Championship together. Again, a great match. Exactly what I want in a tag team match. This one gets 4 out of 5 stars from yours truly.

Next up is Chris Benoit verus Finlay. Character-wise, I'm not a big fan of either of these guys. I mean, I love that WWE is trying to bring some outlandish characters back into the show, but Finlay himself just kind of bores me. Chris Benoit's character, or lack thereof, has always bored me. That aside, these two men can go in the ring with the best of them. This was a pretty physical match, and the german suplex on the floor was a treat to see. A technically sound match, but my heart wasn't in it. There was nothing behind it and that kept it from being really good overall. 2 our of 5 stars.

Melina's world is crumbling. But at least she can go. Her match with Jillian Hall wasn't given nearly enough time, but in the time it had, I think we got to see that these two are much more than pretty managers. Jillian is badass. There were some innovative moves from both Divas, and I hope they get a shot to put on a longer match someday. They both belong on RAW competing in the women's division. Jillian got the win with a roll-up. Melina is going insane, and rightfully so. Kristal tried interviewing her afterward (and might I say, who ever taught her how to pause between sentences should be fired... she takes hours) and they got into a catfight. I'm loving the breakdown of MNM, as much as I should be hating it. If this one had gone longer, it would have been worth so much more, but just because I'm Fabulous and I can do what I want, I'm giving it 3 out of 5 stars.

And another match that wasn't given nearly enough time was the Cruiserweight Championship match between the defending Champion Gregory Helms and the challenger, Supercrazy. What we got to see was pretty darn impressive but much like the Benoit/Finlay match, there just wasn't enough build. Sadly, I have to give the match 2 out of 5 stars. And I love Gregory Helms.

Batista's name sure is being thrown around a lot. Wonder what that could mean? Hmm. Mark Henry gave another lame promo before his match with Kurt Angle. Needless to say, considering it's a Mark Henry match, the match itself sucked. It even ended in a count-out. The post-match events significantly helped the segment, however. After the Angle Slam onto the announce table, which didn't break, I was begging Kurt to try it again. Instead, he just bashed his face in with a chair, then Henry's massive self just floated onto the table and it shattered. That was much better than an Angle Slam. What a sight. Just for that, and since Kurt Angle is one of my all-time favorites, I'll give this one 2 out of 5 stars.

Booker and Sharmell are perfect together. The King of the Ring final match was much better than I thought it would be. I can't say I think Booker or Lashley are great wrestlers, but they managed to get in some good spots in this match. I would have bet all my money on Lashley becoming the King of the Ring, but we can now call Booker T "King Booker", thanks to Finlay. I think it's great that this King of the Ring tournament wasn't just an excuse to put Bobby Lashley over like I originally thought. Booker T totally deserves this. I'll give the whole segment 3 out of 5 stars.

Wow. Looks like The Great Khali is sticking around. That match was way better than I thought it would be. My love for the Undertaker has been restored this year, and this match just reassured me that it wasn't all for nothing, because he actually made Khali look good. I don't really see what the problem with Khali is, just based on this one match alone, because he seemed to be okay given his size and reputation. It wasn't a technical classic but I think it told a good story. The ending came out of nowhere and I usually like those types of endings. I'm quite glad they're giving Khali another chance because I secretly enjoy watching him. I guess it's not a secret anymore. I give this 3 stars.

Rey Mysterio versus JBL was almost exactly what I expected, which wasn't very much at all. The whole thing pretty much happened just as I thought it would, with JBL having the upper-hand through most of the match and Rey ultimately coming out on top to retain the World Heavyweight Championship. Okay, so perhaps Rey deserved his World Title reign, but I think a month was enough. For me, Rey's the kind of Champion you can't help but grow tired of in a short amount of time, and I already feel as though that time limit was reached. And I'm being very nice, because from the first SmackDown! after WrestleMania, I've been dying for something to be done. I'm also no JBL's biggest fan, but between the two I would definitely have chosen to give the World Heavyweight Championship to him tonight. The fact that he's already the United States Champion is a mistake they made themselves. That title deserved a spot on tonight's show. I think now it's time to hand that Championship over to someone like Finlay, Matt Hardy, or now possibly even Joey Mercury. I'm getting a bit off track here. Tonight's main event wasn't anything special, so I'll have to give it 2 out of 5 stars.

There were a lot of two-star matches for me in this show, but I think the good things that happened were good enough to save it from being a bad pay-per-view. It was really good for what you can expect SmackDown! to pull off these days, and it was also really good considering the card they had. They did a lot more with it than I thought they ever could, so I'm going to give the overall show 3 out of 5 stars.

RAW was great this week. I enjoyed last week's show, but this one was much better. We all knew Triple H's apology wasn't going to go as planned, so that was hanging over us for the whole two hours. That alone significantly helped the show.

When it comes down between ECW and WWE, I'm always going to choose WWE. I watch RAW to be watching RAW, so if ECW starts continually getting the better of WWE on Monday Nights leading up to One Night Stand, I'll be upset, but I'll get over it. As opposed to last year, I'm actually looking forward to the ECW pay-per-view this year. It's not because the ECW guys are growing on me, it's because WWE is glorifying the show with their Superstars, such as Edge and even John Cena. Did I just mention John Cena's name in a positive way? I'll get to that in a second. My point is I'm about to create the ultimate ECW taboo when I say: ECW might just be awesome... now that WWE has fixed it.

Ooooooo... burn. I could be the top heel on RAW right now. With that said, the segment between Mick Foley and Edge involving the Hardcore Championship was awesome. I loved it. And if you'll allow me to remain in character, Paul Heyman is about as welcome on my television set as our delightful President. To hear Paul Heyman's voice teases my gag reflexes. Having him played off as a babyface is even worse. I agree 100% with everything Jerry "the King" Lawler said about ECW on Monday night. But the bottom line is the tag team match between Mick Foley and Edge and Tommy Dreamer and Terry Funk for One Night Stand is official, and it should be one hell of a match.

Rob Van Damn versus Shelton Benjamin for the Intercontinental Championship was a good match that ended in a disqualification, sadly. Once it happened, we knew what to expect. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. RVD returned later in the night after John Cena defeated Chris Masters to announce that he was cashing in his Money in the Bank contract at One Night Stand on June 11th because he's tired of all the rules, basically. Just when I was starting to like Rob Van Dam again, he goes all ECW on my ass. I expected it, but I wasn't aware it was going to actually put me on John Cena's side. I'm not saying I'll be cheering for John Cena come One Night Stand, but there's a good possibility I will be. It depends on how annoying RVD gets with this ECW stuff between now and then.

Gene Snitsky kicked major comedic ass this week.

And I love Maria and Carlito together.

I'm not quite sure if Kane is heel or babyface, but I still like the guy nonetheless.

When did Torrie get so good in the ring? She's not great, but she's greatly improved since I last saw her wrestle. Mickie James defeated her this week with that awesome DDT of hers. This was followed by Trish walking out and announcing that Beth Phoenix has now "signed" with RAW. Beth chased Mickie out of the ring and Trish looked very amused. I'm loving this.

Umaga ruins everything.

Earlier in the night, Triple H apologized to Mr. McMahon and agreed to bash Shawn Michaels' brains in with a sledge hammer in the main event. Now, we all knew something was going to go wrong. And it did. In the end, the Spirit Squad has put HBK out of action and Triple H destroyed the Spirit Squad. Hopefully Michaels will be ready to return in time for Vengeance or else all this building up to D-X will have been for nothing, because the D-X reunion will have to be delayed and I don't see WWE having that kind of reunion on cable, which would mean we'd have to wait for the next pay-per-view. Basically, if Shawn Michaels doesn't get to return soon, they've got a mess on their hands. All because they can't give the fans what we want just like that, it has to be a long, drawn out process and we have to be practically dead on the subject by the time it happens.

All things considered, it was still a great episode, and I'm pumped for next week.

Booker T was crowned the 2006 King of the Ring this week. He is definitely the man I think should have won the tournament out of he and the other finalist, Lashley. The coronation on Friday night wasn't interrupted in any way, however. I'm not sure I like that. I guess I can understand how they don't want an interruption for every coronation, but without an interruption, the coronation might as well just take place directly after the final King of the Ring match. William Regal was also involved in this coronation. I'm assuming this was just a way to use William Regal considering there's really no other use for him besides Velocity matches. For the most part this segment was somewhat useless, but again, I can't go into how much I love Booker and Sharmell together.

Tatanka is back. The only thing I liked about this is the fact that I drafted Tatanka this week in WWE Fantasy.

Another person I drafted in WWE Fantasy this week was Bobby Lashley, and I'm very glad I did. Major points. Lashley is the new United States Champion. I'm not sure how happy I am about that otherwise. He's growing on me a little, but I think I would have given the title to someone else. Nevertheless, Lashley may just be the new next big thing, whether we like it or not.

We were treated to a non-title match involving the new WWE Tag Team Champions this week on SmackDown!. I have no clue where this "Vito wears dresses" thing is going, but I don't like it. Men wearing dresses stopped being funny many years ago. And I'm not talking about drag queens, because drag queens are infinitely Fabulous. Nothing special from this match, but it was good to see Paul London and Brian Kendrick keeping the WWE Tag Team Title alive.

We got our first glimpse at Finlay's little helper this week, and I think I like it.

Matt Hardy going to ECW? I wouldn't mind it. He'd get more attention than he's getting on SmackDown!.

Mark Henry strikes again. Yawn.

Where the hell was Kurt Angle this week?

No Khali this week, either. Is that any way to push a new guy?

Once JBL agreed to leave SmackDown! if he did not defeat Rey Mysterio for the World Heavyweight Championship in the main event this week, we all knew what would happen, especially after all the rumors and JBL wanting to move to RAW. He lost and has now left the show, and I'm assuming this is to allow him to heal from injury and then move to RAW. I wouldn't mind, I like having things mixed up a bit, which is why I'm 100% against any rumors of not having a draft lottery this year. I expected Chavo to turn on Rey in some way tonight as well, much like Judgment Day, but it did not happen. It will, though. It will.

SmackDown! was an okay show this week, but they've lost practically everyone so I'm not sure next week will be worth a lot. However, Ken Kennedy is returning next week and I can't wait for that. That guy rocks.

Thanks for reading, and as always, stay Fabulous.

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