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KAYFABE COMMENTARIES: PERRY SATURN YOUSHOOT REVIEW
Perry Saturn was probably one of the most talented individuals who ever graced the squared circle. Fans had followed the evolution of his in ring persona from his time being the enforcer of the flock, to when he sported around Moppy, to eventually teaming up with Terri Runnels. And then, just as quickly as he arrived on the scene, Perry Saturn vanished. Rumors circulated about the wrestling star, most of them being centered around a death story that involved Saturn being shot. For years, the end of his career was shrouded in speculation but one thing remained untouched, Perry Saturn's reputation of his in ring ability. The man could wrestled, and had been compared to a young dynamite kid, which is no small feat in the business. Years went by until one day, Saturn was rumored to have visited people backstage at a WWE pay per view. People were glad to hear his name, and quickly wanted to know more. I myself remember a video interview online of Perry Saturn by Bill Apter, in which Saturn dropped the bombshell. The star admitted that he was human, and demons plagued and took charge in the last few years of his life. Painkillers and Meth had caused his career to drop from living in nice houses with Escalade's to living on the streets, stealing in order to survive another day. I cannot think of a better man than Sean Oliver to get to the bottom of this wrestler's troubled story.
The interview begins with the most obvious question, Where has Perry Saturn been? He admits that it took years to conquer his own personal demons, and that the last 10 years of his career he was a severe drug addict and was amazed that he made it to the ring most of the time. He admits to taking many pain killers, touches on the death of his wife from a drug overdose, getting shot, and eventually dating a woman who introduced him to Meth. The drug took hold as Saturn's life went from living in nice houses, to living on the street and becoming a thug in order to get drugs. He admits to being homeless in Iowa, Minnesota, and Georgia. He also mentions that Sonny Ono gave him a place to stay and tried to help him get clean. Unfortunately, the Midwest is considered to be the meth capitol of the world, and Saturn admits that he suffered relapse after relapse. While you would think his drug addiction was a huge thing in ECW, given ECW's reputation for being a huge party behind the scenes, Saturn admits that things didn't really kick off for his drug habit until he hit WCW, and that even though Dean Malenko tried to help him keep his problems in check, once Dean became a producer for the WWE, that he was left to his own ends, and his drug habit was spiraling out of control. Soon Saturn went from partying after the matches to being stoned from the time he got up, to the time he went to bed, going two or three days without sleeping, and not being able to remember matches. He also admits that he was surprised that nobody else figured out his problem was getting really bad.
Sean goes into the drug testing policies of the WCW and WWE. Saturn says that in the WWE he wasn't tested, and that you would only be tested if you had gotten in trouble or showed signs of drug abuse. Saturn admits to flunking drug tests in WCW, and sitting down with Eric Bischoff to resolve the problem. When Bischoff asked how they could overcome this problem, and Saturn blatantly told him to stop testing him. After that discussion, Perry Saturn was never drug tested again in WCW. Saturn also responds about the rumors that were floating around about his death. He says he had no idea they had popped up, and that since his drug habits were basically the center of his world that he had cut himself off from the wrestling world all together. When people on the street would stop and question if he was Perry Saturn he would deny it, and feign ignorance. Eventually Saturn touches on his recovery, that instead of spending time worrying about where his next fix would be coming from, he would instead focus on how to stop being Perry the drug addict, to becoming Perry Saturn the wrestler again. Gradually he worked his way through it, starting to get clean five years ago, to being clean for two straight years.
Fans question about him showing up backstage at WWE's bragging rights pay per view in 2010. He says that he went back to speak to Dean Malenko, who is a dear friend, and the closest thing he has to family in this world. Once the drugs had taken hold, he had cut off the relationship they had, and he wanted to rekindle that friendship since they had known each other so well. He says he did not go there to get a job, but just to talk to Dean and reconnect with his other wrestling friends like Fit Finlay. The interview goes on by touching base with the shooting Perry Saturn went through that started his steep dive into addiction. He was shot in the neck and shoulder for intervening in a rape scenario on behalf of a woman. They were able to get the shooter, but when the police arrived Saturn admitted to not even knowing he was shot. He figured he had been punched really bad, and not knowing that he had been shot until he arrived at the hospital where they successfully treated him and he awoke two days later. Just seeing the scars in this video blatantly answers the question of whether the scenario was made up.
Sean goes on to touch on how Meth got a hold of Saturn, and Saturn admits that at points he wouldn't enjoy anything unless he was high on Meth. Several fans ask him who his favorite party buddies were in the business, and he admits that he and Raven had some crazy times in the Business. He also tells a story about partying with Scott Hall and Kevin Nash, seeing The Nature Boy Ric Flair drunk, and the interview moves into the "What's in the Bag?" game. Saturn throws out names like Terry Gordy, Sabu, Raven, Ric Flair, Buddy Landel, and even himself. He also admits that drug use was not as prominent in the WWE as it was in ECW and WCW, and how the business was changing where the old guys would go out and party, while the younger guys would be back in the hotel rooms online seeing what people thought about their matches. Saturn also admits that among the many drugs he took during his time in wrestling, he did steroids in large amounts, and that his blood pressure was so high they would have to let him lay down and calm down before his blood pressure tests in order to pass them.
The interview then moves to the Mike Bell Incident in the WWE. For those who are not familiar with the story, Saturn was working a match with WWE wrestler Mike Bell, who was still pretty green at this point in his career. In the match, Mike gave Saturn a very rough hip toss, which caused him to land on his head and caused a minor concussion to Saturn. Saturn, who was not very aware of where he was, then snaps on Bell in the ring, throwing a flurry of stiff punches and shit can's him out of the ring. Saturn admits that he was in the wrong in this instance, and that the landing on the hip toss just rang his bell pretty good. His reaction was a fight or flight response, and he was very angry about the move and ejected Bell from the ring in order to save him, because Saturn was obviously pissed about the entire scenario and needed to calm down. He admits after coming out of the ring, Brisco asked if he was alright, and was he aware of what just happened, and Saturn admitted he was in the wrong, and owned up and took the blame like a man. While the management and Vince were mad about the match, they accepted that Saturn owned up to his mistake. Fans go on further to question about the match with Bradshaw giving him two power bombs on Raw a receipt for Mike Bell, and Saturn sets the record straight telling fans it was just a story line, and there were no personal feelings of payback for Mike Bell.
They then move on to the Moppy Gimmick, how it got proposed, got over, and if it was a punishment for the Bell Incident. Saturn admits that Vince came up with the idea, how Saturn though it was stupid but got over with the fans, and how it was not punishment for the Mike Bell Incident. He also admits that Moppy going into the wood chipper was his idea. He also admits he felt worse walking around with Moppy than wearing a dress in WCW. Fans then move the line of questioning to Terri Runnels. How they got paired together, if Saturn and her ever get it on, if he ever saw her naked, and so forth. While it seems worth mentioning to the fans, I figure as a writer I have to leave some mystery to the shoot, and if you really want to know the answers, you should just buy the shoot. Saturn does admit that she is a consummate professional, and that he would work with her anytime. The commentary then moves on to sex, where fans ask about some good rat stories. Saturn then tells stories about partying with rats in WCW, hanging out with Raven, Billy Kidman and the other members of the Flock. While I would love to get into those in-depth, again to just blatantly tell you about this part would ruin the entire shoot. But I will say this, that these stories had me in stitches. I mean they were really hilarious.
Fans then go on to ask about the other divas, and Saturn admits that he was more of a drug addict and tried to avoid contact with the divas because he did not want to get involved with anyone and expose that darker side to management. The interview moves on to the classic 'Fuck one, Marry One, Kill One' question, throwing out the names of Trish Stratus, Missy Hyatt, or Lita. Saturn immediately kill two of them, Missy and Lita. Missy of course for being annoying, and Lita because when Dean and Saturn would be in a match with the Hardy Boys, Lita would butt in her two cents every time and disagree with Malenko, who was in charge of the match due to his lengthy wrestling career. The interview then moves to the Hoe bag, where names like Tori Wilson, Stacy Keibler, Terri Runnels, Georgeous George, Major Gunns, Tammy, Miss BB, The Nitro Girls, Madusa, Jeanna Jameson, Dixie Carter, Trish Stratus, Daffney, Peaches, Missy Hyatt, Francine, Chastity, Kimona, Beluh, Katt, Lilian Garcia, Stephanie, Kimberly Page, Chyna, Torrie, Jackie, Ivory, Debrah, Lita and Molly Holly. He also admits that Raven would go find the ugliest girls he could and just do her so that everyone could talk about it. The interview moves on to the Dress Feud in WCW with Chris Jericho. He admits the dress was his idea, and that he was supposed to win the match, but they last minute switched the finish so Jericho could stay on TV until he left for the WWE. Saturn admits to awkward moments of shopping for dresses to wear in matches the next night. He also admits to being messed up while doing it, so he didn't really care what he was stuck wrestling in.
The interview then moves on to Heat, and who the biggest asshole Saturn worked with. Perry immediately throws out the name Matt Hardy, however he says Jeff is cool, but they never partied together. He also mentions their heat with Public Enemy, and admits to having no heat with The Stiener Brothers. Fans aslo bring up Mike Graham and how he said that Saturn, Malenko, Guerrero and Beniot never drew a dime for WCW on guest booker. Saturn says that Mike is an angry little man and that him and Sullivan are dirty backstabbing bitches, but he's not losing any sleep over it. They then move on to the 'What a Dick' segment, where names are mentioned like Scott Hall, Disco Inferno, Johnny Ace, Shawn Micheals, Goldberg, Paul Heyman, Hulk Hogan, Nash, Tazz, Jamie Dundee, Bob Holly, Bubbah Ray Dudley, Charlie Sheen, David Flair, Konnan, Kevin Sullivan, Lex Luger, Sabu, Pitbull 1, New Jack, Mike Graham, Raven, Vince, Triple H, The Rock, Ric Flair, Russo, and Bischoff. Fans then move the line of questioning toward how much money he made, if he still gets royalties, and the first big ticket items he bought once he was famous. The fans then ask about any rough flights, and Saturn admits that one time he was working for New Japan Pro and was on a flight with Brad Armstrong and Hawk were on the plane with him, and he and Hawk were writing farewell letters home, but when they landed Hawk got up and acted like it was the easiest flight he had ever had. Fans also ask if Saturn would like to get involved with MMA, and Saturn expresses no desire in that type of fighting.
Fans ask him about stories with New Jack, and Saturn says that times in ECW were so crazy, that New Jack wouldn't have stuck out as much as anybody else. But Saturn admits that Tazz and New Jack did not like each other, and Tazz was not that much of a fighter outside the ring. They also ask how he felt about the passing of Eddie Guerrero, and Chris Benoit. He says he feels sad, and reminisces about the both of them. Fans also mention John Kronus and Saturn admits it was a shame that he was messed up on drugs and just did not notice the deaths of Kanyon. Kronus, and Killer Kowalski. Saturn also admits that he had no idea that Kanyon was gay, but it wouldn't have mattered with him. Fans then ask Saturn did he know when it was time to jump ship from WCW, and he admits around the time Bischoff was fired and Nash took over was around the time he wanted out because Kevin Sullivan would make stuff up just to cause trouble. He also goes on to tell stories about his time with Kronus and working for Lawler in Memphis, and how when Lawler would get laid it would brag about how it was the best pussy he ever had every time. He also tells a funny story about Kronus being illiterate. Saturn also admits that if he had not gotten into wrestling, he would probably be a career criminal by now.
All in all, I rate this YouShoot a four out of five. While Saturn's storied wrestling career may not have the juicy gossip about the women of wrestling, it more than makes up for it with the great politics stories,. stories about his career friends and wild party nights, and just his general time and experiences in the business. If anyone When you boil it all down, and look past his troubles with Meth and Painkillers, you really start to see Perry Saturn for the person that he is. He was a wrestler with very little ego, who came to work and did the job as best as he could. The only real negative to the entire shoot that I can really point out was the lack of current information about Saturn, like what he was doing now, his plans for the future, and if he would step in the ring again for the WWE, ROH, TNA, or tour the Independent circuit. But you can't really focus on the negatives because the interview focuses on his past, and included funny and insightful information on his view of what happened between the three companies so many years ago. All in All, this YouShoot was excellent, and if your thinking about watching a comedy movie, instead watch this Youshoot, because Saturn will make you laugh hysterically with his stories from ECW and WCW. Sean Oliver, as always, is a consummate professional who gives the star the questions from the fans straight up, which is hard to find in the wrestling business full of rumors. So, my recommendations are to grab your favorite mop, put on a pretty dress, and grab some popcorn, because this is a must see edition of YouShoot.
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