Welcome to In Your Head! Wrestling podcast, news and community!
Welcome to In Your Head! Wrestling podcast, news and community!
by The Captain
The Cap'n here with my first Pay-Per-View review for In Your Head. I'm not sure I'll be doing these for every pay-per-view, but I will at least do them for every RAW one. If I start watching SmackDown! like I think I'm going to after this draft, then I will be doing one for every show, along with a SmackDown! review. Tonight, I give my thoughts on a very COOL Intercontinental Title match, a Diva Search beat-down, a case of injustice toward a should-be married couple, an Olympic work of art, a charismatic let-down, and Hell inside a useless cell. Read further to hear what this Captain has to say about a rather refreshing pay-per-view after suffering from June 12th's ECW One Night Suck? err, Stand.
The opening match of the night was for the Intercontinental Championship. The new champion Carlito Caribbean Cool defended against Shelton Benjamin. Let me just say that I LOVE Carlito as the Intercontinental Champion. It's a breath of fresh air for a title that I'm usually so interested in to be back around the waist of someone? interesting. This was a pretty good match. Shelton's good in the ring, no one's denying that. But he needs a personality. I noticed the audience getting into friendly arguments with this one. The Carlito fans would chant "CAR-LI-TO", then the Shelton fans would say "SUCKS". Hmph. Well, Carlito showed them. He pulled out a victory with a quick roll-up and some tights after lots of back and forth action. He exposed a turnbuckle and that idiot Shelty jumped right into it.
The next match of the evening is Victoria VS Christy. There's not a lot to say about this one. Christy looked way better in the ring tonight than she did at 'Mania, at least as far as knowing what she was doing in the ring. She took a few good bumps, but ultimately, Victoria pulled out the win using the ropes. She slid out of the ring and Christy stood up, proclaiming "this isn't over". Really? Well, Victoria's boot up your ass says differently.
The man who's ass you all kiss is up next. Edge, with Lita, takes on Kane. This match was okay. It was about as good as a Kane match can be. The best part was Lita turning around numerous times to tell the idiots in the crowd that she was basically way better than any of them will ever be. Edge even did it once. Not a lot of notable moments in this one. I was glad to see Snitsky out there giving the boots to Kane, but Edge went for a briefcase shot on Kane, missed, and hit Snitsky instead. That backfired. Kane got a cheap victory with a Chokeslam. Laaaaame. But, if the feud's over, I'll be okay. It's time for Edge and Lita to move on to bigger and better things. Lita almost got killed at one point during this match. Kane wrapped a steel chair around her throat as if he was going to crush her neck, but Snitsky came to the rescue. A pretty disappointing segment, but seeing the lovely couple made it worthwhile.
The WrestleMania 21 rematch between Shawn Michaels and Kurt Angle took place next. Wow. I won't say anything for sure, but they could have very well outdone 'Mania. The match was very enjoyable and was easily the match of the night, as we all expected it to be. There were lots of high spots, including HBK getting German'd onto the non-breaking announcer's table. Kurt went for the Angle slam countless times and finally hit it, but Shawn kicked out. Kurt got the ankle lock in and held it for what seemed like 5 minutes or more. About as long as or longer than the final time he locked it in at 'Mania. But, HBK reversed and sent Angle into the ring post. Angle turned around and walked right into the Sweet Chin Music. Michaels went for the pin, but it wasn't enough. Both men get to their feet and Angle goes for the top rope. He leapt off and caught another Sweet Chin Music right in the kisser. That was finally enough for HBK to put Kurt away, tying the score at 1-1. I wouldn't mind seeing a tie-breaker in the near future. SummerSlam, anyone?
We take a break from matches temporarily for a FABULOUS segment. Remember how I mentioned in last week's review that I liked the Viscera and Lilian deal, but I preferred Vis as a player? Well, it looks like someone out there was listening. Lilian brought out the 500-pound love machine and sang him a song to return the favor for him singing to her a few weeks back. She then proceeded to get down on one knee and ask for his hand in marriage. The audience was completely against this, and so was I. I wanted him to turn her down so badly. Just as Vis was about to say he would take her offer under consideration, The GODFATHER's theme music hits. WOW. This was totally unexpected. The Godfather has returned with his hos, although I expect it to just be a one or two-time deal. The Godfather asks Big Vis what's the matter with him because he thought Vis was about to become a real pimp. He asks him if he wants to walk down the isle with one woman for the rest of his life or if he wants to take a ride on the HOOOOOOO TRAAAAAIN. After much deliberation and checking out the Godfather's hos, Viscera looks Lilian right in the eyes. He then says "I have only one thing to say. ALL ABOOOOOOARD.. THE HOOOOO TRAAAAIN!!". The audience ate this up. I was elated to learn that the Black Market was back open! Lilian cried for Vis and begged him not to go. I thought she was very convincing. I almost believed her heart was truly broken. Vis just looked on from the stage and said "I'm sorry" and continued to dance with the hos.
The WWE Title is on the line next as John "I'm certainly not the champion for my in-ring skills" Cena defends against Chris Jericho and THE CHRISTIAN. I didn't expect much from this match, even though I'm a HUGE, LONG-TIME PEEP. I knew John Cena would come out on top, and the fact that he can't wrestle on top of that was just making it impossible to look forward to. But, although Cena still walked away from the match as the champion, it was a really good match. I, at least, thought it was good. There was lots of back and forth action and lots of near falls. I was even semi-impressed with John Cena in this one. I can't really say I saw anything extraordinary out of him, but he carried himself pretty well, I suppose. If you only knew how hard it was for me to just type that, you'd know how huge it was. Cena wins with the F-U to Christian.
Main Event time. Batista defends the World Heavyweight Title for the third time in a row against Triple H. This time in a Hell in a Cell. I've lost all interest in any future Hell in a Cell matches. The Cell was barely used here. It might as well have been a no DQ match. Nothing spectacular. Lots of blood. A few spots where I cringed a little, like when Triple H smacked the barbed-wire chair across Batista's back. In the end, Batista prevails, and beats Triple H for the third time in a row. Thank God this crap is over.
Overall, I give the show 4 out of 5 stars. While not every match was great, I was pretty interested in every match except the main event. About half the matches were really good matches. Going into RAW tomorrow night, all champions have retained their titles. We're entering the final week of the draft lottery. Each show will get two picks this week, and I'm quite eager to get it all over with, although it's been enjoyable. Until RAW, stay FABULOUS.
Sorry, commenting is currently disabled.