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PostPosted: Wed Mar 23, 2016 5:04 am 
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Joined: Sat Apr 15, 2006 11:21 pm
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Jack was in the middle of editing the latest episode of the best horror podcast in the world, Without Your Head, when the phone rings. Jack sees that its Incher and ignores the call. This is more important then talking to that fucking hillbilly, Jack says. Later on that day, Jack is getting a BJ from a podcast rat when the phone rings again. Oh shit, I gotta take this call, it might be my brother Flea, Jack says. Fuck, it's Incher. Guess I better pick up. What's up boy? This better be good, I was just about to bust a nut in this ho's mouth.

Jack, I think I figured out how that frog face Miz got Maryse. I already know how Miz got Maryse, he has lots of money and she is a gold digger, Jack says. Jack... I know this will sound crazy... Miz is a vampire. Ya, and I really am werewolf, Jack says with sarcasm. Jack, listen to me, I am serious! Miz is a vampire and I need your help to kill him so I can save Maryse, Incher shouts. What the hell are you talking about? Go play some pinball and let me get back to getting balls deep in this slut! Later bitch, Jack says before hanging up the phone. Fucking asshole! Screw you Jack! I can do this on my own! For my name is... One Inch Belmont!

Incher stands at the front gate of Miz's mansion in Hollywood. He pushes a button at the gate and a woman says over the intercom, Can I help you senor? Hello there. My name is um, um... is Neal Jones! I am a huge fan of The Miz! I have a copy of Marine 4 on BluRay and I was wondering if Miz could sign it for me? Oh si Senor! You are the first person to ever ask Miz to sign a copy of Marine 4! I will open the gate!

Incher was standing at the front door for a few minutes then the lady he spoke to opened the door and told Incher that he would need to come back after sunset as Miz was sleeping. Oh OK, but could you please let me use your bathroom? I just ate a Dave's Triple Cheeseburger from Wendy's and I gotta go, Incher says. I guess it's OK senor, follow me. Incher then smothers the housekeeper's face with a cloth soaked in ether. Sorry lady, but I gotta kill this fucker before sunset.

Incher goes up to the 2nd floor where he sees what looks like a coffin (it is really a tanning bed). This must be where the foul creature sleeps, Incher says. Incher opens his backpack and grabs a stake. Incher opens the tanning bed and sees Miz laying there. Incher is about to drive a stake through Miz's heart when all of a sudden hears, Bonjour I am home! Incher gets distracted. Who the hell are you, Miz screams. Die you vampire scum! Incher tries to drive the stake into Miz but misses when Miz rolls out of the tanning bed.

Incher then reaches into his backpack and grabs a leather whip. What the hell are you doing man? Is that a whip, Miz asks. It's not a whip, it's Vampire Killer! Die monster! You don't belong in this world, Incher shouts. Incher begins to whip the holy hell out of Miz. Miz begins to bleed. What are you doing to my husband! Please stop, Maryse screams. Die vampire! Die vampire, Incher screams over and over. I am not a vampire, please stop, Miz yells. Yes, please stop whipping him! I can prove he is not a vampire, Maryse says. She throws her compact to Incher and tells Incher to point it at Miz. To Incher's surprise, Miz casted a reflection.

My bad dude, I guess you are human. Well I guess I'll wait here for the cops to show up, Incher says. Miz passes out due to the beating he has taken So you really thought he was a vampire, Maryse asks. Even if he was a vampire, why would you come here to kill him? Because, I thought Miz turned you into a vampire. Why else you be with this douchbag? So if I killed Miz, you would be free and be turned back into a human, Incher says. So you did this all for me? That makes me horny. I want you now. What is your name, Maryse says. You can call me One Inch Belmont!

Maryse takes off her clothes and bends over. Whip me One Inch Belmont, Maryse says. OIB playfully whips Maryse's ass with the Vampire Killer. OIB gets aroused. Maryse sees this and smiles. Stick your stake into my pussy, Maryse says. Incher bangs Maryse from behind. OHHHHH LA LA!, Maryse moans. Incher then pulls out and shoots his holy water all over Maryse's face. The end.


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